Friday, October 11, 2013

Breaking Badass Glass

For those not familiar, the title means Big Break, Season 2 (for me), Episode 1. No this is not about Breaking Bad. Or is it?

Big Break NFL is clearly a lot different than Big Break Greenbrier. Teams. Ladies. NFLers. More people, more variables. Even with all of that, it’s equally as fun.

When we eventually found out that it was going to be a team format, and that we were to be joined by NFLers, it was clear that this BB was meant to be as fun as possible. There were some grumblings from some players that a team format is too much of a crap shoot and that one single player could bring you down. But let’s be honest, all of us returning players already had our opportunity, and now we’re getting a second one. I say whatever rules they want to throw at us is fair game. No need to complain, b****! (I hope most of you know this reference)

What I will complain about though is what they left out of the first episode. It was a highlight reel play. Something I spontaneously cooked up on the spot. 99% pure. The good stuff. And it didn’t even make the cut. What happened? Well, on my glass break, my ball must have just caught the bottom of the frame, deflecting it up, breaking the glass, then ricocheting high in the air, back over my head. Being the world class all-around athlete specimen that I am, I naturally made a b-line for it. I turned my hips and bolted. Insane Bolt style. 7 grass burning strides in I made a beautiful, in-stride, one handed catch, while staying in bounds. In the end zone. Touch down. This digital graphic really lets you visualize what happened:

Considering it is the Big Break NFL, I figured my game-winning Breaking Badass Glass Catch would have tied in nicely. Apparently not. Maybe I should have just pulverized the glass frame like a tackling dummy. That could have done it. Regardless, at least I still have the ball which provides little to no proof at all:
Sure, we, Team Rypien, didn’t have the best day finishing in last place for the combine, but we still don’t have a loss. And that’s the name of the game, to avoid losses. I always thought it was “Just win, baby,” but apparently I was wrong. It’s actually “Just don’t lose, baby”. Sounds funny.

What our 6th seed means at this point, well, we have no idea. Probably nothing good, but nothing that guarantees us a loss either. The underdogs. Team Rypien. We don’t mind being the underdogs. I want dogs. I don’t want any cats…meowing…scratching. I want dogs!

Let’s just hope there are some actual football challenges coming up soon. Like the classic break the glass ricochet go and catch it challenge. I’m so ready.

Until next time, stay away from the blue stuff.

-JL

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This article was written by James Lepp, owner of Kikkor Golf and contestant on Big Break NFL.  To view the original article visit the Kikkor Golf Blog.  Follow Kikkor Golf on Facebook at: www.fb.com/kikkorgolf and on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/kikkorgolf